Chuckle

I stole this from someone's Facebook status, because it made me laugh and we can all use a good laugh now and then, right?

The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. CEO's are now playing miniature golf. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America. Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore. A picture is now only worth 200 words. They renamed Wall Street " Wal-Mart Street". Finally, I called the Suicide Hotline and I got a call center in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

Tee-Hee-Hee!

Mini Post Monday

• One of the things I really like about homeschooling is that I can tailor our curriculum to our needs - even if I need to change courses mid-year.  Last year I used Peace Hill Press for our language arts.  Although I LOVE their reading curriculum, their beginning grammar was just not for us.  Aaron hated doing it, I wasn't thrilled with what he was learning, and we began avoiding it.  So a couple months ago, I ordered the Rod and Staff 2nd grade English program and it is great!  Aaron likes doing it, I like that it gets him writing more, and I like the way the information is organized and presented. I also love the way biblical material is woven into every lesson. It's great to not have to suffer through a year with a mismatched program just because it is what the school uses!
• Did you make any amazing Thanksgiving recipes?  I made the Bobby Flay Pumpkin Bread Pudding from his Throwdown with Pioneer Woman, and Oh. My. Goodness.  That is one good (though super involved) recipe.  I think I gained 3 pounds just from making it though...
• I saw the most humorous sight in the parking garage at our library the other day.  It was so funny to me that I had to whip out my cell phone and take some pictures.  I appologize for the quality of these, but phone pictures taken in a dark parking garage are not the best.  Anyway...I understand the value of good stewardship and taking care of what you have, which is why a lot of people get a steering wheel lock for their car. 

          However, I usually see these types of locks on nice, expensive cars that someone

          might want to steal. Can you imagine anyone wanting to steal this car?

I personally think the owner of this truck could leave it unlocked with the windows down and still return to find it undisturbed!
• I have requested a Kindle for Christmas.  I have struggled with whether or not I wanted one because I love the actual, physical page, but I gave in.  What's on your list?
• The Christmas decorations are up and the house feels quite festive! We got some new ornaments this year too, because I was tired of having the rag-tag decorations collected since the beginning of time.  I love my new ornaments!

The first ornament to go on the tree this year!

• The kids were actually a help with decorating this year.  They remembered where a lot of the decorations were last year and got them out of boxes and put them in the right places.  It was really nice.  They also decorated their room with two 1 foot trees and a lighted garland.

Aaron putting ornaments (ones I banned from our main tree this year) on the garland we put in their room!

Cowboys

I am always amazed that when people come to the Dallas area, they expect to see real, live Cowboys. Let me fill you in on a secret: just because Dallas is in Texas does not mean we have handsome men in chaps, spurs, and a cowboy hat walking down every street.  In fact, you'd be hard pressed to find a person like that in Dallas proper.  Now, go outside the city limits, past the suburbs just a bit, and yeah.  You'll find lots of those real, live cowboys.

Aaron, circa 2006, proud of his Texas heritage!

However, those are not the cowboys this post is about.  This post is about the only true "Cowboy" in Dallas, er, Arlington now, but what's the dif? ;)

Okay, so there's a big difference, but that's not what this post is about either. The Dallas Cowboys have gotten so bad, that now when people gather around the water cooler to talk about "America's Favorite Team" it is to share jokes like these:

• The Texas State Police are cracking down on speeders heading into Dallas. For the first offense, they give you 2 Dallas Cowboy tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.

• What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?  The Dallas Cowboys

• How do you keep a Dallas Cowboy out of your yard?   Put up a goal post.

• What do you call a Dallas Cowboy with a Super Bowl ring?   Old

• What's the difference between the Dallas Cowboys and a dollar bill?   You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

• What do the Cowboys and a possum have in common?   Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Christmas Spirit?

I am a Christmas purist.  I think the focus should be more on the birth of Jesus and less on presents.  I think decorations should go up after Thanksgiving and stay up until Epiphany.  I know not everyone agrees with me on these things, but even if you don't agree with those things, can you agree that these trees we saw last weekend are just wrong in every way possible?

These ones aren't quite as bad - at least they are a natural color of green.  But still... 

If you live somewhere that these trees grow naturally, maybe they are more appealing.  Jo, care to weigh in on that one?

Somehow I just don't think that people who live among real, beautiful evergreens like these ones wouldn't even think of putting one of those other monstrosities in their homes!

On a completely unrelated note, isn't the new blog design great?  Thanks, Joanna, for keeping our blog pretty!

May 31, 2010

JNJ News Network

The Sovereign Committee Of Blog Excellence (SCOBE) released its nominees for the Worst Blog On the Internet today. For the first time in the history of SCOBE, only one blog name was put up to win this demoralizing award, The Jos Know of Blogspot.com. In years past, at least five blogs have been nominated and the winner is only chosen after careful consideration by all head board members for SCOBE. When asked to comment on the change in protocal, President of SCOBE Peter Bitterman replied, "Normally we find a handful of blogs that fit all of our criteria without one standing out as a clear winner. We usually must dig deeper into the blog archives to make our final decision. However, this year, The Jos Know had such poor performance that it stood out as our clear choice without further deliberation. It is sad, really. It is our sincere hope that this award will be a wake up call to the authors of this blog."


The Worst Blog award was established in 2005 after it became clear that every woman and her grandmother felt she was qualified to run a blog worthy of regular readership. SCOBE official I. B. Sour is quoted saying, "Women tend to think that the general public wants to read sporadic drivel about cleaning, grocery shopping, and dirty diapers. This is a travesty that must be corrected." To qualify for this award, a blog must have very limited readership, have a clear lack of regular posting, and have a severe decline in postings in the past year.

The Jos Know blog authors Joanna Villanova* of Mobile, Alabama* and Johanna Preston* of Tempe, Arizona* were contacted for comments, but chose not to comment on the record. A close friend of Mrs. Preston was quoted saying, "These women are deeply saddened by this characterization of their blog. They have vowed to do better, but are surprised that SCOBE is not more understanding of the fact that homeschooling, raising large families, taking care of invalid husbands, and starting new business ventures keep them from more frequent postings. They do expect the quality and quantity of their postings to increase in the near future."
 
*Names and locations have been changed to protect the innocent.
 
ETA:  Sorry the comments were lost on this...I flipped out thinking it sounded too harsh, deleted it, then learned it wasn't actually offensive and put it back up.  Hey, I'm a woman, which means I have a God given right to change my mind, right?

Pictures of the Day

Rachel got a bead stuck on her tooth.  I thought we were going to have to take her to the dentist for a little while but we finally got it off.

In keeping with our homeschooling weirdness, my children have turned a little bear named Eggs into a mummy.  History, you know.

A New Habit

Andrew has developed a new habit of late: he is walking around with something stuck in his mouth, saying "Mmmmm, mmmmm." over and over, and generally being pleased with himself and his new trick!  It is so funny, and he knows he is being funny with it!

Here he is with a napkin in his mouth.

Here he is with a crumpled up paper airplane one of his brothers carelessly left on the floor.

And now with the washcloth I used to wash him up after dinner.  I really think the shirt says it all!

In Search of the Soapscuminator

I hate cleaning showers. Now I know that "hate" is a strong word, and we really should say "dislike," but really? I hate cleaning showers. My shower is huge, which is great when one is shaving, but not so great when one is cleaning. It is marble on two sides and glass on two sides, and it is really hard to keep clean. When I cleaned it today, I found myself wondering, "Why is it that a cleaner that says it cleans soap scum really cannot get it off the glass in my shower? And why is it that a cleaner with bleach (which is needed for shower mold) cannot seem to rid my shower of soap scum?" (Not that I have shower mold or anything... *ahem* We'll just think of this as more of a hypothetical post.)



I grew up using the Scrubbing Bubbles brand cleaner. My mom is one of the people I know that actually keeps a clean house all the time. She'd tell you otherwise, but I know better. When she says she needs to clean house, there is usually a stray dead spider in a corner, and a few dead leaves that have blown in, and two spots on the tile floor. That's it. Anyway, I always figured that if this was her cleaner of choice, it must be a good one. But now that I am keeping my own house clean, I am not so sure. I guess maybe if you use it after every shower or two, it might do a good job; but let's be realistic here. I am a homeschooling mom of three littles. I am lucky to clean my shower every week.

After realizing that my shower was going to need something with more muscle, I bought this Lysol cleaner with bleach. It says it cuts shower mold and soap scum, but in real life? Not so much. I followed the directions and sure enough! Whamo, presto! My mold - er, hypothetically speaking... - was gone! But even with some scrubbing, the glass still has a nasty film of soap scum on it. And really, a cleaner with fumes that make all of my mucus membranes scream and run for the hills is just not for me.

What I need is the ultimate Soapscuminator. Does it exist? Is there actually a cleaner out there that does it all? I want a cleaner that is cheap, that kills any science projects threatening to take over, that cuts all the soap scum, and that isn't totally toxic. Is that really too much to ask? I mean, I spent the majority of my childhood in the 80's, so I learned that I can have it all! Right?

For example, I am a big fan of Comet cleaner. I get the store brand for $.50 a can and use it to scrub my kitchen sink, my counter tops, and clean the insides of my toilet. And it works great!

Hmmm...I wonder if it will cut soap scum? It says it will, so maybe I will try it. I also want to try making some cleaners that are more natural and economical. I found this page of cleaner recipes that looks interesting. Also, About.com has a page of cleaner recipes under their Frugal Living section. I also found these pages of recipes. What do you use? Have you had any better luck with shower cleaning than me?

A Tale of Two Sisters

I would just like to point out to those of you that take in interest in my family that my last baby is seriously chubby. And really, I'm not sure you truly understand how very chubby she is.

See this baby? She's eight and a half months old. Look how cute she is. Look at her deliciously chubby cheeks. She how she has absolutely no neck at all? I often wonder how it is that she swallows!! She weighs about 21 pounds.
See this cute little girl? She's two years old. She is 17 months older than her little sister, pictured above. When you pick this girl up, it's almost like picking up a feather. I just caught her applying her snack of blueberry yogurt to her legs as lotion. She weighs about 22 or 23 pounds.

Yes, you read that correctly. I now have to share clothes between my 8-month-old and my 2-year-old.

Weird.

Aaron and Ethan are playing with play dough right now, and I am listening in on their conversation while I clean in the kitchen. I just heard Ethan say, "Okay! Time's up! Please step away." just like they do on the show Chopped! Turns out they are making food creations with the play dough, pretending that they are competing in a timed food competition! Hmmm...I think this might mean that I watch too much Food Network...

Lost In Translation

Jerry has a habit of saying, "I'm gonna smoke you like a Christmas turkey!" when playing/wrestling with the boys. Apparently trash talking starts young. Today, while watching football, Ethan said on behalf of his team, "I'm gonna knock you like a Christmas pie!"

Huh?

Mmmmm....

I thought I'd share with you our yummy pancake breakfast this morning, but we gobbled it all up before I could get a picture, because we're all so freakin' hungry this morning!!! ::calms down a bit:: Seriously, who would ever have thought that a spelt/kamut pancake with fresh ground nut butter and homemade syrup would taste so absolutely incredible. I probably wouldn't have said so a few days ago, but these were like little pieces of heaven. I ate 4 5 7 of them!

It's a good reminder that perspective is everything!

Hmmmm.....

Apparently I don't use sweet potatoes often enough to keep one in my pantry! I mean, I've gotten eyes on potatoes before, but none of them have ever grown leaves!

Reality Check

My father is currently seated on the couch downstairs, next to my handsome husband. They are playing a video game. Disney Golf. No kidding.

Have I entered some sort of strange alternate reality or something? I think I need to go to bed and when I wake up tomorrow everything will be back to normal.

Parental Puzzle For Monday

What is it about the laundry basket that no matter how many times you say "IT'S NOT A TOY, STOP PLAYING WITH IT" they still play with it?

The Modern Couple

I just had a very interesting experience. Let me set the stage for you...

The older boys had been put to bed, I was sitting on the couch nursing Andrew and playing on Facebook, and Jerry was in our bedroom on his computer writing a paper for school. Andrew had gotten to that very important stage of nursing where he was asleep, but almost done nursing so at a point where one false move will wake him up, but stillness and quiet will send him into a nice deep sleep. Suddenly, I hear Ethan from the bathroom yell, "Mom! I cannot reach the toilet paper!"

Uh-Oh. If I get up to help him, Andrew will wake. If I yell loud enough to get Jerry's attention to help Ethan, Andrew will wake. What to do? What to do?

Then it hits me - I'll Skype Jerry! I love Skype, but I usually use it to "call" my friend who lives in Germany so we can talk free of charge. I've never used it to "call" someone in my own house. But, tonight, it was just what the doctor ordered! I used a Skype chat and typed, "Ethan needs tp." Before I knew it, Jerry walked out of the bedroom with a TP roll in hand!

Whew! Disaster averted!

Air Conditioning the Neighborhood

If I have to say, "CLOSE THE DOOR" one more time today, I may lose my mind. And it's only noon.

Roundabout

Aaron has started something new. Instead of saying something outright, he says it in a roundabout way that shows his logic and proves why what he has to say is important. For example, the other day in the car, he asked Jerry,

"Dad, are you going to drive carefully?"

Jerry responded, "Yes, I am going to drive carefully."

"Good," Aaron said, "because Grandma doesn't have her seatbelt on."

Now why didn't he just say, "Grandma doesn't have her seatbelt on!"?

Then yesterday he aske me,

"Mom, when you have a baby, do you forget things?"

"Well, yeah, you do get more forgetful when you have a baby." I
answered.

He responded, "Well, did you know you forgot...."

I'd finish the sentence, but I forget what it was that he told me I forgot!

Ha!

Inspired by Dr. Two Brains (from Word Girl on PBS - if you haven't seen this yet, you have to watch - even if you don't have kids the right age to watch with you! Don't worry, I won't tell!) and Dr. Octopus (from Spiderman, which the kids have never seen, but manage to still know about from a coloring book they got), my kids have just given me a new moniker:

Dr. Mommy. Waahaahahahahaha!

Breakfast

As I get older more mature wiser older, I am starting to realize that sometimes it is okay to have dinner for breakfast.

Yes I do realize that that is half a hot dog bun I'm using for a hamburger bun. Leave me alone.