I Needed This Today

The God of all comfort. Thanks for the reminder Terry.

Joanna Shrugged?

A couple of months ago Granny put out a challenge to read Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged. I seriously considered accepting the challenge because Granny has been around the block a few times and when she says "jump", I think the rest of us young 'uns should say "how high?" However I kept thinking about how I didn't even have time to read recipes, let alone books. I mean, I'm on chapter 5 or something like that in Pride and Prejudice. It's pathetic. I'm just too busy.

Anyway, I've been reading some of Michelle Malkin on a daily basis and they keep talking about "Going Galt". As I'm reading I keep wondering "Who is John Galt?" Turns out John Galt is from Atlas Shrugged. I have finally decided that I must read this book. The more of our money Obama spends the more I'm convinced we're headed down the slippery slope of Socialism and I think it's fascinating that Atlas Shrugged was written over 5 decades ago, before Obama was even born.

I checked Amazon and their copies of Atlas Shrugged are between $15 and $25. I thought I'd check out the library. You know what's funny? EVERY SINGLE COPY of Atlas Shrugged that the Hillsborough County Public Library Cooperative has is either checked out or on hold. I am now more convinced than ever that people are worried. People are downright freaked out. It's just hard to believe the main-stream media when they say that 60% of the country has a high approval rating of the Obama administration.

Okay, I will now try to get off of my soap-box. I promise to try to keep politics off of this blog as I know that's not really what it's for. I just had to mention that though.

On to more light-hearted matters: look what I got in the mail on Monday. I'm sorry I haven't posted or at least called you before to let you know. But look, they are in regular use. In the crib, for soothing, next to the diaper changing station, and even in the van. They are just beautiful! I always enjoy having a blanket and burp cloths from you because they are so pretty and they remind me of what a fabulous friend you are! Thank you Johanna and Lyn for the blanket and burp cloths.

Oh and one more thing. I tried the cookies. I was disappointed. Maybe it's because I put caramel chips and chocolate chips in them. They totally fell apart. And then I over baked the others so they are crunchy. They were incredibly easy to whip up though.

Anna is starting to sleep through the night. I put her down for the night at 8:40 last night and she woke up once at 3:23am, then didn't wake again until 7:30. I lay in my bed this morning wondering if she was dead. Isn't that awful. I think a lot about your friend; Anna is amost two months old. I snuck in her room full of trepidation. She was just laying there, wide awake staring at the wall. I snuggled her up good and prayed over her while I nursed her. Why am I so afraid to give her back to Jesus?

Last Wednesday (not yesterday) we went to see the manatees. It was pretty cool.

In Which I Cry With Relief

We've commandeered Lily's crib. Anna needs it. She's outgrown the Moses basket already and she keeps me awake at night with all her grunting and weird noises. Lily is now in the toddler bed; a scary notion to her father and me.

Let me tell you a bit about Lily.

Every kid eats strange stuff. Things an adult would never think to put in their mouths, children taste, put in their mouths or eat. We've had a few problems with this in the past. Ella ate a couple of things we called Poison Control over but we've been pretty darn hardened to what kids eat since then. Until Lily. Lily challenges our sanity with the fear that she will some day kill herself by eating something poisonous or drowning in the toilet. She has an irrational fascination with the toilet and we've found her MANY times playing in the toilet water. Gross. We've also caught her eating things like paint, when we had the house painted, Head and Shoulders shampoo, nails, thumb tacks, dirt (of course), and she does things like: when it rains here the back sliding door tracks fill with water. They are dirty, hard-to-keep-clean tracks and, of course, oiled so that the doors slide smoothly. Lily gets down on all fours and laps the rain water out of the tracks. There is nothing Lily won't put in her mouth.

You can see our fear with putting her in a bed she can get out of. The crib kept her alive while we all slept because she couldn't get out of it...although she did try very hard to get out of the crib, but the climbing is another post entirely. So, we got a gate for her door. I really didn't want to have to do this, but she simply cannot be trusted. It's been a battle to get her to obey us and stay in the bed. The gate just gives us peace of mind that if, in the middle of the night she disobeys, at least she won't eat poison or drown in the toilet.

Last night, Rachel got up and came to our room and then immediately went back to her room. Odd for her; she usually climbs into bed with us. Then I hear the gate opening and closing and feet and more feet and frantic feet and more gate noise. So I drag my tired self out of bed and confront Ella with, "What in the world is going on here???" It was then that panic ensued as Ella informed me that Lily was not in her bed.

We searched the entire house. All the bathrooms, every single room we searched. All the lights were on in the house and Del , Ella and I were calling her name. Can you imagine what was going through our heads??? All the doors were locked so she didn't get out of the house. Why wasn't she answering our calls? And then Del had an epiphany. What's that we see there?

Is that a little butt sticking up in the air?

Let's shed a little more light on the matter.

There she is. Sleeping under Ella's bed.

These aren't the best pictures because I was crying while I was taking them.

And then I hugged her and kissed her and hugged all the kids and kissed them all and thanked God that they were all still safe in their beds.

Aahhh, the Anticipation

So this is the day I said Anna would be born. It's not looking too good. In fact, a C/S is looming on the horizon. Here's the goods:

My OB office does C/Ss on Thursdays at St. Joseph's, where I have opted to deliver (Lily was born there, too). So, I have exactly two extra days to go into labor on my own before Thursday the 15th. On that day, I have a C/S scheduled at 11 in the morning. At this point I just want to cry. I'm trying not to think about it too much. Recovery from a C/S holds many implications for me, the least of which is that another VBAC is next to impossible with these yahoos around here. Pregnancy is already very difficult for me, recovery is usually a breeze but not with a C/S - I don't know how my friend Tina did it four times. My poor mom wants to go back to Maui to be with Dad for four weeks before he (they) come home for good. She plans to stay if I have to have a C/S and I really don't want her to have to do that. I want her to be able to go take care of her husband.

I have been contracting very well since Monday, except for Thursday and Friday. Yesterday I contracted every 4-5 minutes for about an hour or two; I tried not to pay too much attention. I only had two very mild contractions all night long. This is a long labor if that's what this is. Both Rachel and Lily were born on a Tuesday after laboring all weekend and then my water breaking on Monday, late at night.

I'm a little depressed about this, so please pray that I will accept whatever it is that God's will is for this babe and my life with grace and gratefulness. There is so much to learn from what God challenges you with and I don't want to stomp on it whilst whining and crying like a baby.

I think I might need to take a nap.

This World of Ours

It seems like there have been so many disheartening things that I have read lately about homosexuality teaching in schools, neglect and abuse of children, and other evils in our world. It is so easy when all of this is right in my face to want to buy a secluded piece of land somewhere and hole up - protecting my children from the world. But I cannot really do this. Not only would my husband absolutely not support it, it is not practical for us and may also defeat the purpose God has for us here in this world. I have been taught that we are to be in the world, but not of the world. The is very hard at times, since the desires of the world are strong at times - but it is possible.

I started reading the book Escape by Carolyn Jessop. (I know, I know...I still haven't finished Mansfield Park. I got totally bogged down in the "should we allow this play, father would/wouldn't approve of this play..." section. Boring... I will finish it though.) It tells of her escape from the polygamist cult FLDS. It is particularly interesting to me in light of the 400 children who were recently removed from a FLDS sect here in Texas. It is constantly in the news. Anyway, she said something in the acknowledgments section that really sticks out to me. (Yes, I'm a dork. I even read dedications and introductions to books!) Anyway, one of the groups of people she acknowledges is the people who made it possible for her children to have Christmas the four years since she left FLDS. She says,

"The FLDS is constructed on a scaffolding of lies. We were all brainwashed into believing that everyone in the outside world was evil. Every Christmas, when I see the delight in my children as they unwrap presents from people they never met, I realize what a monstrous lie we were taught to believe."

Later, as she is describing the night she left, she talks about how she couldn't tell her children that they were actually leaving. They were so frightened. Once they figured it out, one of her daughters actually said she was taking them to hell.

Although I realize that this is an extreme situation in which these children were completely brainwashed, I see a warning here too. Am I making statements in which I am teaching my children to fear the world and all of the people who do not believe as I do? Or am I teaching them by example how to be in the world but not of it? Fear cannot be the answer. I know that fear is not from God, rather he is perfect love, and perfect love casts out fear. (I John 4:18) The Bible also has so much to say about being in this world. There is lots to say about not being drawn in by the world and not becoming like the world, but remaining pure and holy in the midst of the world. James 1:27 actually says not to become polluted by the world. I really like that wording. Even though we have to guard our hearts and minds and be responsible with our children, we still don't have to fear the world. The Bible also says that though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. (2 Cor. 10:3) The biggest reason I don't have to fear is that God is mighty! He goes before me and fights the battle for me, giving me the victory! (Deut. 20:4) It reminds me of one of my all time favorite verses, "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." I John 4:4 I so badly wanted to end that verse with an exclamation point!!

I don't know if this will speak to anyone else the way it is speaking to me, but with all the yucky stuff I have heard lately, I needed to think on these things. I cannot fear. I cannot withdraw and teach my children (even if by default) that everyone in our world is evil and to be feared. Afterall, God loved this fallen world so much that he gave his own son to save it - which is far more than I would have done.