Have you ever wondered if God really cares about all the minuscule details of your life? Have you ever wondered if he really knows each little emotion you are feeling? Although I do not think I have actively questioned either of these things, I did not completely understand the implications of his precise care for me until today.
Our adoption process has been one huge learning experience for me, and I am sure that it will continue to be so. Over the past five months, I have experienced every high and low emotion I can think of because of this process. When we first got started, I had two different people tell me that it would be a roller coaster ride, with highs, lows, and all points in between. Boy! Were they right! God has taught me to truly trust him. He has taught me much about what it really means to "let go and let God." He has shown me the meaning of the word sovereign. But what I learned today was that not only does he know my every need, no matter how tiny, but he anticipates my needs and is working on meeting them before I even know the need exists! This is so special to me, because as a wife and mom I feel like I am constantly anticipating the needs of my husband and children. I think that is good and right, but I have to admit that I sometimes feel neglected in this area. I have been known to throw a pity party or two, wallowing in the fact that I spend all my time anticipating their needs, yet they cannot seem to notice a single one of mine and meet it without me asking! What I learned (and am still learning, I'm sure) is that I was looking in the wrong place to have my needs anticipated and met without me asking. God has been doing this for me, and I haven't even noticed! How neglected he must feel!
As I posted a couple weeks ago, because of Hurricane Ike I did not go to Houston. Instead, I mailed my final document to Austin and decided that when it came back I would then make the call about whether to drive the complete dossier to Houston myself or hire a courier, mail the documents to the courier, and have them walk them into the Consulate for me. As this last week progressed, I knew the document would be returning from Austin soon and I began to get all my ducks in a row for Houston. The Consulate resumed their regular services on Wednesday, but I have been having more and more contractions and they are less and less related to my activity level. So I began looking at the courier more seriously. One thing I discovered was that the Consulate was scheduled to be closed October 1-3 for a Chinese national holiday. Well, this morning the doorbell rang at 8:30AM. Our document was back! After much initial elation, I began to do the math. "Send the dossier on Monday, courier receives it on Tuesday, they take it to the Consulate on Wednesday...Oh, wait! The consulate is closed on Wednesday. They couldn't take it until next Monday. Then, even if we pay for expedited service, it wouldn't be done until Tuesday, mailed back on Wednesday, and I wouldn't get it until Thursday. That's almost two weeks even with the rush fees!" So I talked to Jerry about how we could get it there sooner. Since I really cannot sit in the car that long anymore, or go that far from my doctor, he decided that if I felt strongly about it, he would leave Sunday morning around 4:00AM to drive it to my brother's house and still get home about the time we came home from church. Then my brother would have to take it to the Consulate Monday for the rush service. Since that plan hinged on my brother's ability to go to the Consulate first thing Monday morning (since he does have a job and all...) I called. He couldn't go Monday morning, but without even asking if my sister-in-law could, she yells in the background that she can do it! Then, my brother says, "Wait! I may be able to save Jerry the trip here." As it turns out, one of our friends is already driving down to Houston tomorrow to help my brother rebuild his fence, and he could drive the documents for us! He came by this evening and got them, and they will go to the Consulate Monday morning without us having to drive down, spend the money on gas to go down, spend the money on the courier, or wait for Fed Ex to do the driving for us! Then, if all goes as planned, the fully authenticated dossier will be back on its way to us overnight Tuesday and we will overnight it to our adoption agency after finishing a few little steps once it is back! The agency should have it by Friday morning!! I cannot believe it!
God knew that the hurricane was coming and I would not be able to take my trip as planned. He knew how long it would take to get the document back from Houston. He knew that the Consulate would be closed October 1-3. He knew that when I did the math, my heart would sink as I realized that there would be another two week delay. He had already planned for our friend to be headed down at the same time as we would need to go. He had already planned for this friend and my brother to take off from work during this next week to repair the fence. He even planned for my brother's insurance to come through and be ready with all the details for the fence repair to be able to occur this coming week! God anticipated that I would need this done faster than the courier would be able to do it, and he once again provided all the details to get it done. Isn't He great? He knows me so well, and rather than get upset with me for being so frail, He loves me enough to provide for me what I need.
I sure hope each and ever person I know and love is able to have this kind of experience, too. This is really a lesson that is better learned first hand!