Today I went to the memorial service for the two-month old daughter of a friend of mine. Zoe was born just three days after Andrew, and died of SIDS this past Tuesday. Some pain that we experience in this life just cannot be understood. Asking why doesn't even begin to truly express the question in my heart. Even so, God is sovereign. God is faithful. The whole service today had a tone of expressing faith in God and his plan despite the painful circumstances. What a reminder that they're not really ours to begin with, but just given to us on loan!

Amy with Zoe and me with Andrew at the joint baby shower our Bible study threw for us.

It will be a long time before I will be able to love on Andrew without thinking about Amy and Zoe. My son Aaron said it best, though. "We'll see her again in heaven, mom." he said. So all you mommies out there, go love on your babies. And while you're at it, say a prayer for my friend!

Quick! Someone teach it some manners!

From three year old:

"Mom! The volcano is about to interrupt!!"

I am convinced that God gives us three year old children to keep us laughing when we really feel like crying!

Fitness Friday - Temptations

Well, I didn't really take too much time to think through the assignment this week. My brain really couldn't take too much thinking. I have been sick this week - I am pretty sure it is mostly allergies as the mountain cedar count has been very high and a lot of the people I know started up all at once when the count got high! That alone wouldn't get me down too much, but I am also grieving for a friend whose baby girl died of SIDS this Tuesday. When something like that happens, suddenly figuring out how to justify extra sweets or thinking too much about food at all seems completely unimportant! That kind of perspective has been good for me this week and has made me focus on what is truly important and let the rest go.

But that said, I do need to remain accountable to this commitment for my own sake, so I'll give a brief update. I actually did really well this week. I didn't make it to the gym on Tuesday and Wednesday like I normally do, but I did go Sunday when I normally don't so I still went twice and exercised at home three times. I kept track of my food this week, too. Writing it down helped me to see some gaps and also helped me to see that in many ways I am doing a good job with my food. I lost two pounds this week - the first bit of weight I have lost in about six weeks!

As far as temptations, I am completely tempted by sweets. Other foods don't tempt me too much. I can pass on fast food and fried food, but sweets are my downfall. What has worked for me in the past to keep from this temptation is: lots of prayer, cutting out snacking completely (three meals a day with nothing in between), not buying sweets, and not eating when I am alone. Right now, I am not willing to not have any snacks at all as I have been in the past, but I am doing better with the other things that have worked and will keep working on it that way!

Art Appreciation

I started doing art lessons this semester with Ella. I really wanted to buy this really cool art apreciation set recommended by Susan Wise Bauer. At the time we were saving money so that was one of the things nixed. Fortunately I found this website that has really cool, simple art lessons. You learn about an artist and answer some questions and do some puzzles. I like it. It'll do for now until I can get to the good stuff.

Oh and by the way, Gauguin was weird. I mean really, really weird.

Check it out: Garden of Praise's art appreciation for kids.

Picture Post

Marie is 20 weeks pregnant. Next Monday we'll find out whether she's having a girl or a boy. Some lady in Bed, Bath and Beyond breezed past us, pointed and said, "That's a boy." On the plate you will see a sandwich. That would be a peanut butter and pickle sandwich. Yeah, Marie is definitely pregnant.

Mom took Ella and Sarah to see Riverdance. I wish I could have gone, but do you know they'd charge for Anna to go. What a bunch of punks. The girls like Riverdance and have watched the video tons of times, but they call it "Irish Dance."

I have the most handsome husband in the world. I don't want to hear any arguments about this fact either. She's cute ain't she. NOT ME, the baby!

Here's the hawk that presides over our neighborhood. He eats all the squirrels. There's a moth in this picture. Can you find it?

A Day in the Life Of, Part Deux

I know I'm something like 5 days late posting this. I'm sure you understand about having a new baby and all. I can't even count the days anymore. How many days late with this am I. Five, four...six??? Never mind.

Anyway...

Other notes from the first day were: Ella likes a break. Recess was her favorite thing. I'm good with that. Usually we put down grammar and turn directly to some other task, like math. If she needs 10 minutes to go outside and run off some energy before embarking on the next learning adventure, fine with me. It's better than listening to her whining and it doesn't extend the day out a significant amount.
The second day was harder for her than the first day. Getting up at 6AM is NOT her thing. I repeat: ELLA DOES NOT LIKE TO GET UP AT 6AM. Talk about grumpy pants! She was very discouraged about how long the day was. Recess wasn't quite enough to make up for all the play time she was missing with her sisters. When asked she told us that one of the things she disliked the most about public school was how little she got to see her sisters. Granny put some fabulous ideas up in the comments and we capitalized on a couple of them. She hardly got to see her sisters at all except for when they were included in the lesson, like science includes Sarah. She didn't get to see Anna at all until she was out of school. We kept her downstairs. She didn't like that. Mom checked her hair for lice. That was funny. She was totally grossed out at the idea of bugs crawling around in her hair.

We ended up calling off the PS for Thursday because with guests here, we felt it was adding more stress than was warranted. I think a third day would have been just enough for Ella to really realize how lucky blessed she is to be homeschooled, but I'm happy with what she and we learned on Tuesday and Wednesday.

I don't know that school was that much different on Thursday and Friday, but we did give her more breaks between subjects and that has been our greatest help with the whining.

I have relaxed our rigorous spelling schedule as she is already doing the third grade spelling book, and was scheduled to finish the fourth grade spelling book this year. She's only in second grade. She doesn't like the spelling because it involves a lot of writing. So we're going to do that only once a week now instead of two lessons a week. We are going to get up at 7AM, eat a light breakfast and begin school no later than 9, but preferably at 8:30. That gives an hour and a half to eat, get dressed, do morning chores and not be hurried about it. We accomplish our best work in school earlier in the day. When the afternoon rolls around everyone gets sleepy and lazy and we accomplish less in a greater amount of time.

I don't think this post made very much sense. I'm sleepy.

Oh and the HOMEWORK!!! We had her up until almost 10 Tuesday night and past 10 Wednesday night doing homework. ROTFLOL! That was the best. She could barely keep her eyes open. She's nodding off to sleep and we're poking at her and prodding her, "Ella, get your homework done." Yeah, she didn't care for that either. However, we liked the homework. I liked that later in the day she was reminded again of what she was learning. I believe we will give her homework to do from now on only not nearly so much of it and we'll call it "laterwork" instead of homework.

Fitness Friday – Goals

This week, Brenda has encouraged us to blog about our goals. Setting goals is important. When I don't have any goals, I usually find that I don't accomplish much of anything! For some reason, even though I know that about myself, I still don't really tend to set goals for myself. I think this largely stems from the fact that I have a huge fear of failure. If I set a goal, and then I don't meet it, I have failed. That fear is keeping me from accomplishing much more than I currently am, though. It is time to move past the fear and make some goals. So here goes…

Food Goals

• Eat fruit at breakfast and as one snack each day. I used to eat fruit each morning with my breakfast. Somewhere along the way I stopped doing this and didn't add the fruit back anywhere else.
• Eat more raw veggies. Actually, that goal is not really easily measurable, so I will say to eat at least one serving of raw veggies each day.
• Do not eat during my children's nap. Their nap time has always been my "me" time. I relax, watch TV, read, and basically totally indulge myself. For this reason, I have been eating sweets or overindulging when it comes to food. I eat things I would never eat if my kids were watching because they would want some, and I don't like to share my treats! Plus, why should I eat something if I wouldn't let them eat it because it isn't good for them???
  

Exercise Goals

• Go to the gym at least three times a week. I get a better workout at the gym. I am motivated by the people I see – the very unfit motivate me because I know how hard it is to go to the gym when you are extremely unfit and don't look the part; and the very fit motivate me because I see what is possible.
• Exercise at home, even if it is just a little bit, three times a week.
• Continue to add jogging to my walking routine. I have started doing 90 second intervals of jogging when I walk. Tonight I jogged a total of 9 minutes during my 40 minute stay on the treadmill. I'd like to get to where I can actually jog for 15-20 minutes without stopping to walk.
  

Beauty Goals

• Continue nightly deep moisturizing on my very dry and calloused feet so that they are sandal ready by summer. I feel so pretty when I have manicured feet in sandals!
• Lose an average of 1 pound a week.
• Choose a goal outfit. We are going to one of my nephew's high school graduations at the end of May. I will choose an outfit from one of my smaller sizes in my closet that I would like to wear to that graduation ceremony.
  

Spiritual Goals

• Choose and memorize a passage of scripture each month. I have gotten out of the habit of scripture memorization.
• Spend time in the Word daily – even on Sundays outside of church.
• Pray diligently for my husband every day. I am currently studying The Power of a Praying Wife with a small group of ladies. I have read this before, and loved it; but this time I want to really apply it.

There you have it: three goals in each of these four areas of my life. Whew – I am tired just looking at it…but I know I can accomplish each of these goals if I take it one day at a time.

Super Simple Sides

I really like vegetables, but I get tired of making the same old thing all the time. Our dinners usually consist of a main dish accompanied by either steamed broccoli, roasted veggies, or corn and either rice or potatoes. Boring. But my problem is that I don't want to dedicate time to making sides. I have decided that I need to have some super simple side ideas and I need to branch out a bit. This is my first attempt at that goal! I made this recipe by thinking about what flavors I might like together. Hope you enjoy!

Super Simple Sauteed Zucchini

Cast of Characters (This phrase is shamelessly borrowed from The Pioneer Woman. Check out her recipes - they rock!):

2 medium zucchini

1/2 cup corn

one large or two small shallots

2 tsp. olive oil

Herbamare seasoning

black pepper

First you need to get out your big, sturdy skillet. If, like me, you do not use non-stick cookware, spray it with a non-stick spray. Then heat about 1 tsp olive oil in the pan over medium high heat. Give the shallots a fine dice and saute them in the oil until they are nice and brown. I like to use shallots for this because they are more mild than onions and I think they match zucchini better because of that. But if you don't have shallots, by all means, use an onion. About 1/4 of a medium ought to do it.


Once the shallots are soft and brown, add another tsp of oil to the pan, followed by diced zucchini. I like my zucchini in about a half inch dice. This way the cook up nice and fast and are small enough that they are not too much bigger than the corn. I like my mixed veggies to all be roughly the same size for some reason...

When you add the zucchini to the pan, resist the urge to stir them right away. Just let them hang out in a single layer for a while so that they get nice and brown. If you have your heat high enough, this won't take too long and after you turn them once to get nice and brown on the other side, they'll have a perfect crisp-tender texture!

When you flip the zucchini the first time, go ahead and add the corn. This is best with frozen corn that has been thawed, or fresh corn cut from the cob. But I only had canned on this day, and it is fine that way too. In fact, this is a great way to use up leftover corn. After you add the corn, it is time to season the veggies. I like to use Herbamare seasoning. This is a really nice seasoned salt that can be found at natural food stores. It pairs great with veggies, fish, and chicken! If you don't have this, or another seasoned salt you like, kosher salt would work well. I also add pepper. I think some basil or thyme would be good here, too. Go crazy and try whatever spice sounds good at the time!

By the time the zucchini is browned on the other side, the corn will be heated through and this is ready to serve! Even with the chopping, this dish only takes about 15 minutes, and the results are worth the extra effort! I served this up with a yummy beef enchilada casserole! Yummy!

A Day in the Life of...

My oldest two daughters are currently in kindergarten and second grade. We are doing just a few things with Sarah, the younger; basically just teaching her to read and going over some basic things we think a kindergartner ought to know, like her address and her 5 senses and you know...things like that. Ella is immersed in schooling; education; learning. She's got a full schedule. She whines a lot about school though.

And it's not that she doesn't like it. It's that she wants to play. Sometimes 15 minutes into school she'll be asking when we're going to be done with school for the day. I have to admit that the learning environment is a little rough. She's the eldest of five young children and her sisters are all quite the distraction. The run around yelling and banging on toys and the like. We try to curb this distraction as much as we can with naps for the little ones and activities they can do while we're doing school with Ella. But still, I'd be distracted, too if it was me trying to learn with all that noise.

However, she does get to sleep in until 7:30 or 8 every single day. We have a leisurely breakfast of some of her favorite things like pancakes, crepes and chocolate Malt-O-Meal and then they do their morning chores, get dressed, brush teeth, comb hair and start school. We very often don't start school until 10AM or later and school lasts about three hours, sometimes four hours depending what's on the schedule for the day. Either way she's done with school no later than 1PM and she has the rest of the day to play. That's a pretty sweet life if you ask me. No homework either. Lucky girl.

What's she whining about?????

One day Mom and I were discussing this and comparing our own public school experiences with her cushy life. Mom even has recent experience with teaching in a public school. In the middle of this conversation I said, "We should do 'a day in the life of a public schooled student' to show her what it'd be like." Mom, being the great planner that she is, ran with it and we all (Del, Mom and I) tossed out ideas: make her wake up at 6AM, make her a brown bag lunch, make her ride the "bus" to school, etc.

First day execution...

Her schedule looks a bit like this:
6a - wake, dressed, eat, comb, chores, etc.
7:05 - go outside to wait for bus
7:15-7:45 - bus ride to school
8a-8:50 - spelling
8:55a-9:45 - science
9:45a-10 - recess
10-10:50 - history
10:55a-11:45 - PE
11:45 - 12:25 - lunch, potty break
12:25p-1:15 - math
1:20-2:10 - reading
2:10-2:25 - recess
2:25-3:15 - grammar, penmanship, dictation
3:15-3:30 - pack up to go home and line up for bus
3:35-4:05 - bus ride home

We've given her homework in almost every subject. Del tuckered her out before lunch with the 50 yard dash, a 1/4 mile run and all sort of other President's Physical Fitness guidelines stuff. She ate lunch and then he bored her nearly to death with math after lunch. She actually likes math and Del was a math major for a long time but with the lunch and all the running...LOL, it was just a bit too much for her. She perked up a bit after math with some interesting reading with my mom. She is teaching/reading the book Dear Mr. Henshaw to Ella and she loves it...except when she gets to the questions. Those are sort of tedious for her.

Lessons learned...

The things she said to Marie (come to escape the cold weather for 10 days) during history was that she thinks she likes public school because she likes to work and it's been quiet and easy to work the way we've structured it. This is sort of backfiring on us. We decided to keep all the little kids downstairs during this time. Bad idea. She likes the structure and quiet we have ordered upstairs in the school room. She likes the dedicated one-on-one attention she is getting hour after hour after hour. Darn...

Tomorrow will be different. In no public school that I ever went to was I ever anything but the next name or number on the list. There was no personal attention EVER and certainly not a full 7 hour school day of quiet to work in. There was always some kid making trouble, some kid asking to go potty, some kid pulling hair, some kid getting a spanking, some kid...I think you get the picture, and if you were public schooled yourself, have a zillion stories of some kid doing.... So tomorrow we're sic-ing the little kids on the peace and quiet. Some of us "teachers" are going to act as other kids and ask stupid question and pull her hair and distract her like crazy. Then it will be a long, gruelling day with the same distractions she gets on a daily basis. Maybe she'll complain about her 3 hour school day less then.

It's been an interesting experiment so far. There are lessons to be learned by all, including us know-it-all adults.

I'll update you tomorrow on how Day Two In the Life of a Public Schooled Student goes.

Why I Homeschool

I have had several people ask me lately to tell them the story of how I came to the decision to homeschool, and I offered up the information to one other, so rather than type out the story several times for e-mails I thought I'd post it here!

I had not always planned to homeschool. I knew I could do it if I should need to; after all, I taught other people's children in a Christian school! But I didn't really have a desire to homeschool. You see, I had bought into the lies I heard all around me. I loved my children, but I heard myself saying things like, "I cannot wait to have a few hours to myself when these kids go to school each day!" I have had some great examples of homeschool families. All 5 of my dad's siblings homeschool(ed) their children, and I go to a church where about a third of the families homeschool their children. Of course I have seen the stereotypical "weird" kid produced by homeschooling, but I have seen many, many more well-adjusted normal children come out of homeschooling - so that wasn't an argument for me. Pretty much, my reasons for not even considering homeschool were based on feminist thought that has crept into my Christian circles.

I live in a large city where the public schools aren't the best. Of all the school districts around, I happen to live in the best one, but I still would not consider sending my children to it for many reasons. But public school wasn't my only option! Because we live in a big city, I have my pick of private schools, both Christian and not. That was my plan. I went to a Christian school from K-5 through my first two years of college, and I had a great experience.

When my oldest child turned 3, like every "good parent" I checked out the local pre-school options. I found a great church run program that was close to our house and enrolled him. My only complaint with the school was that they only had a three morning a week option and I was really looking for two mornings a week. The first crack in my "no homeschool" shell started to crack during this process of choosing a school. I found many schools that offered or required five day, all day programs even for three year olds! I may have been looking forward to my "me" time, but sending my three year old baby off to school all day, every day seemed wrong somehow! Anyway, he started the program and did well. I enjoyed having time with just my younger son alone, but I was surprised at how "off" we felt without Aaron here! I really missed him, even though he was only gone three hours a day for three days!

It was right during this time that my good friend and blog mate here at The Jos Know began telling me about a book she read, The Way Home by Mary Pride. She told me about decisions she was making based on conviction she felt after reading the book. The things she told me about were pretty major, so I decided I needed to read the book to better understand my friend and where she was coming from. Little did I know that God was going to use this very book to show me His plans for me to homeschool! When the book arrived, I dug in. Being a voracious reader, I began to devour the book! I was immediately confronted with my attitudes that were very much influenced by feminism. I had no idea how many of them had crept into my own thoughts! I learned what the Bible had to say about my children truly being a blessing and not just another responsibility I had. I wasn't sure about some of the concepts I was reading, but I could not deny the point she had on God's view of children. Then I got to the sections about homeschooling. I found myself seeing some really good points. My first reaction was fear! I didn't want to homeschool, and I knew my husband didn't want me to homeschool! He was still talking about me going back to work when our kids were in school (which I knew I didn't want to do). As I came across things that I hadn't thought about before, or something I found particularly interesting, I read it to him, though. I finished the book on a Saturday evening, and told my husband that reading it almost makes me consider homeschool a little bit!

The next morning at church, a lovely lady that I used to babysit for and who also homeschooled her children through 8th grade came up to me. She told me that for weeks she had been feeling like she was supposed to talk to me about homeschool, and asked me if I was planning on homeschooling my boys. We talked for a minute and she said she would call me later that week to chat about homeschool. When she walked away, my husband and I looked at each other and both thought it was a bit weird that this conversation came the morning after I finished that book!

Then on Monday, I got a phone call from a friend that I hadn't talked to in months. The topic quickly turned to homeschool, as she homeschooled her boys! We ended up talking curriculum and other homeschool topics for almost an hour that day.

Tuesday, my curiosity got the best of me, and I looked up my friend's curriculum on the Internet. Wow! I was so impressed by what I saw, and I was used to reviewing curriculum from my time as a teacher. Then I started reading articles I found there like this one, and these ones too. I found myself feeling excited about the possibility of giving my children an education like this one, and I still wasn't even really going to homeschool! But looking at the curriculum made me excited!

Then came Wednesday. I went to a meeting that day and after the meeting I was cleaning up and putting things away. A woman stayed to talk with me. I had met her once before, but I didn't know her much at all. She asked me about my family and told me that she thought it was great that I stayed home with my children. (She never had any children.) She got ready to go and suddenly stopped, turned around and said, "You should really consider schooling your children at home." Then she turned back around and walked out the door! (And I have never seen her since!) When this happened, I literally looked up and said, "Okay, God, I hear you loud and clear!"

When I got home from that meeting, I got my boys in their nap and sat on the couch to watch a TV show and the phone rang. It was the lady who had talked to me at church and she wanted to know if that was a good time to talk about homeschool! I just had to laugh. At this point, God had my attention, but I knew I had to talk to my husband about it because he did not want to homeschool! That night, I talked to him and told him everything that had happened. I told him that I thought we were supposed to homeschool. He calmly took it all in and just said, "If that is what God is telling you, and it sounds like he is, that is what we should do!" Wow, that was the confirmation I needed. We decided that night that each year we would pray over our decision to homeschool and for each child see if it is still the best option.

I think it is really great the way God knows each of his children. He knew we would need pretty bold direction to get that we were supposed to homeschool, and he gave it to us. He also did it at the perfect timing. Shortly after we made the decision to homeschool starting the following year, our son started having a hard time going to the preschool we had put him in. He began to cry every day and tell us he didn't want to go. He even started having nightmares! This was a child who had loved school just a couple weeks ago! If he had started this before we made the decision, I would have felt trapped - like I *had* to homeschool him. But now, I know that God wanted it for us all along!

If you homeschool, I'd love to hear how you came to the decision to homeschool, too!

Anna

Whoa! I look like I just had a baby there! Yikes. Here, here's a better photo.

My grandma; I love it when youth meets wisdom.

Thank you all so much for your prayers and congratulations! I wish I could hug your necks.

We're adjusting quite well. All the girls love Anna, even Lily who says, "BABY!!!" every time she sees Anna. It's cute.

Fitness Friday - Tweaking Your Wardrobe

This week's challenge was to tweak our wardrobes. You know, get rid of the old, falling apart, baggy clothes and to try to dress better. I do feel better when I dress well, and I am always up for a challenge. The fun thing about this is that I was already planning to do what was suggested here, and had already started! I do have to say, I am one of those people who is too vain for my own good sometimes and I do not go out of the house without my hair and make-up done. I am not one to wear sweats - especially in public. So I didn't have many atrocities to rid my closet of. What I needed to do was get the maternity clothes out of my wardrobe! Have you heard the saying, "With your first baby you cannot wait to put on maternity clothes and buy them at the first sign of waist expansion. With the second baby you wear your regular clothes as long as you can before succumbing to maternity clothes. With your third baby maternity clothes are your regular clothes!" Well, guess which baby this was for me??? One of the problems is that a lot of the styles right now look like they could be maternity clothes! You know what I am talking about, right? And maternity clothes are cut to fit a lot more close to the body, so they don't look like over-sized tents any more. So I found myself pulling out maternity clothes still because they are just more comfortable. Not as much the pants, because the panel is a dead giveaway!

Anyway, here's what I did this week. First, I took all my maternity clothes out of the closet. I folded them all up and set aside the ones that are in season now to go to the resale shop and the ones that are not in season I put in a bin to go on my closet shelf until the resale shop is accepting spring clothing. I also went through my regular clothing. I have currently four sizes of clothing in my closet. The vast majority of it is size 10 or 12. Those are the clothes I wear when I am at my right weight. My size varies depending on the cut of the item, so even at my goal weight, I would keep both. I also have a small selection of 14's and 16's that I kept knowing that I had gained 40 pounds with each of my pregnancies and this one wasn't likely to be different... I went through these and tried them on. I found a few things that even though they fit, they looked bad. These went in the pile to be donated (and any maternity clothes that the resale shop doesn't buy will go here, too.) I had just recently bought new undies, so we were good here. Finally, yesterday I went to Target and bought a few new things. I didn't want to spend too much money since I do hope these won't fit for too long, but I do think it is important to have some things that are beautiful and new now so that I feel good about what I am putting on. When these get too big, I'll donate them as well.

(Maternity Clothes ready to go to the resale shop)

(new shirts)

Last week I had gone through the kids room and together with them we decided on lots of toys that could be donated, so our donation pile is quite large now! It does feel good to get rid of excess clutter! And yes, we do store the things we are ready to donate in a bathtub...


As for progress in general, I really stepped up the exercise this week. I went to the gym three times this week (using the treadmill, elliptical trainer, and weights), did an exercise video at home once, and did miscellaneous exercises (sit ups, push ups...) a couple times, too. I am going to start adding a more challenging exercise video on days I cannot go to the gym next week. Last night, I actually sped the treadmill up enough that I had to jog some! It felt really good to push myself to do enough to really work up a sweat and to get really out of breath. I still have some things to work on with my food, but I am starting to notice a small change in my body. No change on the scale though...so this week, in addition to weighing myself, I took my measurements so that I have more than one way to measure progress.


So that's my Fitness Friday update! To see more Fitness Friday posts from other ladies participating, check out Family Revised!

Fall on Jesus

Somtimes I find myself wallowing in guilt. This is something that I didn't recognize until recently, either. You see, I have a real fear of failure. This is an unhealthy fear. Everyone fails at something at some time. The key is to learn from failure. Instead, I tend to feel shame and guilt when I fail. Rather than motivate me to do better, that shame and guilt usually drives me to do things to not have to feel the shame and guilt, like lose myself in a book or turn to a pint of ice-cream. These things, of course, only lead to more shame and guilt! What a horrible, downward spiral to get caught in!

God has been dealing with me on these things and teaching me so much. I know that neither shame nor guilt is from Him. Today, I was blessed by a song. With these thoughts fresh on my mind, I set to cleaning up and put on my i-pod while doing so. The song by Chris Rice called "Untitled Hymn" (Come to Jesus) came on, and the words went straight to my soul:

And like a newborn baby,
Don't be afraid to crawl,
And remember when you walk sometimes we fall...

so Fall on Jesus,
Fall on Jesus,
Fall on Jesus and live.

I'm going to fall. The question is, "What am I going to do when I fall?" Oh that the answer would always be to go straight to my Jesus and let him help me up!

I hope that listening to this song will bless you as much as it has blessed me today!

Dressed for Success?

She's Here, She's Here!

Johanna reporting for Joanna, here:

Anna Lyn was born this morning at 10:33 am, right on her due date! She is 7 lb. 7.5 oz., and 19 1/2 inches long. She nursed well, met all her sisters, and has lots and lots of dark black hair!

Joanna is well, but tired. She got to the hospital at 6:30 this morning, was in a room around 8:00. The doctor broke her water, which was enough to start labor. It only took a touch of pitocin, and no c-section in sight!

Congratulations, Joanna!

Here's the Skinny...Mini

I went in for my pre-op/regular OB appt today.

I saw Dr. Roush (look under south Tampa doctors), who will be the doc. with the knife on Thursday. She came in and said something about how disappointing this was and then asked about my contractions, which have been not regular but ouch they hurt and lots of them.

So she decided to check my cervix.

Apparently my uterus has been a wee bit busier than I thought it was. I am dilated to 4cm, baby is at -2 station and I'm 80% effaced.

Now's when everyone should give three cheers for Dr. Roush, whom I love.

Her exact words were, "It would be a shame for you to have another C/S." She has taken responsibility for my delivery, is on call tomorrow and I am scheduled to be at the hospital at 7AM for an induction (just a little of Pitocin should do it, she said). She said we'd have a baby by noon.

I've been on the verge of tears or in tears ever since. What an answer to prayer. I just can't get over the way God works. It's downright amazing!!! Again and again I am humbled.

Aahhh, the Anticipation

So this is the day I said Anna would be born. It's not looking too good. In fact, a C/S is looming on the horizon. Here's the goods:

My OB office does C/Ss on Thursdays at St. Joseph's, where I have opted to deliver (Lily was born there, too). So, I have exactly two extra days to go into labor on my own before Thursday the 15th. On that day, I have a C/S scheduled at 11 in the morning. At this point I just want to cry. I'm trying not to think about it too much. Recovery from a C/S holds many implications for me, the least of which is that another VBAC is next to impossible with these yahoos around here. Pregnancy is already very difficult for me, recovery is usually a breeze but not with a C/S - I don't know how my friend Tina did it four times. My poor mom wants to go back to Maui to be with Dad for four weeks before he (they) come home for good. She plans to stay if I have to have a C/S and I really don't want her to have to do that. I want her to be able to go take care of her husband.

I have been contracting very well since Monday, except for Thursday and Friday. Yesterday I contracted every 4-5 minutes for about an hour or two; I tried not to pay too much attention. I only had two very mild contractions all night long. This is a long labor if that's what this is. Both Rachel and Lily were born on a Tuesday after laboring all weekend and then my water breaking on Monday, late at night.

I'm a little depressed about this, so please pray that I will accept whatever it is that God's will is for this babe and my life with grace and gratefulness. There is so much to learn from what God challenges you with and I don't want to stomp on it whilst whining and crying like a baby.

I think I might need to take a nap.

Imagination

When is it along our journey in life that we lose the bulk of our imaginations? Yesterday, I was delighted by my 3 (soon to be 4) year old's imagination! He ran into my sewing room where I was and his shirt was covered in Thomas the Tank stickers. Here is our conversation:

Three yr. old: "Mom, when I push this button (one of the stickers on his shirt) it makes me jump!"

Mom: "Do you mean it makes you jump higher?"

Three yr. old: "No, it just makes me jump." (said as he is off jumping while pushing on the sticker on his belly.)

Three yr. old: (after returning a couple minutes later) "Mom, my button is broken."

Mom: "Oh, no! How are you going to fix it?"

Three yr. old: "I'll go to my closet."

Mom: "Why? Do you have the right tools in there?"

Three yr. old: "No. That's where my man is who fixes things. He can fix anything!"

Really? He has a man? If only I'd known that, I wouldn't have thrown out the broken vacuum. I would have just had his man fix it! :)

I Love My Ella

My daughter Ella is an artist. She's sort of clumsy and is always hurting herself, but she sure can draw and paint. She loves it, and it comes naturally to her. Here she is with her younger sister Sarah. They got a new sewing machine for Christmas.Here is a sample of her original artwork, now framed and soon to be hanging on the wall in my bedroom. Isn't it pretty.

This is a drawing she did recently. Check out the shading on that apple. She's good. She might need to work on her spelling a bit, though, don't you think?

Because I'm a Total Copy Cat...

I have...

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child (well, we're in process!)
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise (three in fact! I highly recommend this!)
33 Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing (with Joanna once, too!)
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China (not yet - but I'm gonna!)
57. Started a business (two of them)
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car (just last week, actually)
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit I have the same disclaimer on this as Jo - (but it was a mass litigation type thing that I didn't know about until I got some letter in the mail telling me I could collect my $2.36 any time)
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

This was fun, but I found myself feeling gypped by the travel ones. They are all things I wish I had seen in person, yet there weren't so many of the really cool places I've been included! I've been to 10 countries other than my own, and even to France, but not to Paris. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to travel some more! :)

Fitness Friday - What Makes Me Feel Good

This is my first Fitness Friday post since before Christmas and it feels good to get back in the mix. Over the holiday, I didn't really watch what I ate by excluding anything, but rather focused on making sure I ate enough veggies and some fruit each day along with all the yummy holiday stuff that was around. We went on a trip for a bit over a week, and during that time Jerry and I were able to go on two dates (one Andrew was along, one he was not)!! It was really good to be out with my beloved and I ordered a meal and dessert both times (both were dinner dates).

This week I am back exercising. I have been to the gym twice this week, and it feels so good to really work out. I am one who enjoys exercising, but seem to forget this until I am actually exercising! As for progress, since I last posted (was that three weeks ago???) I actually gained one pound. It is not surprising though with the lack of exercise and food free for all. The several afternoons that I sat down with the half gallon of Blue Bell ice cream and a spoon aren't helping either! (If you live where you cannot get Blue Bell, you are missing the best ice cream in the world, and probably missing 5 pounds because of it, as well!) I am confident that now that Andrew is 8 weeks old and I am back at the gym, things will begin to change for me weight wise.

This week's assignment was to write about what makes me feel good. I really had to stop and think about this one and the implications it has on how I live my life. These are the things that make me feel good:

1. Spending carefree and stress-free time with my children.

2. Finishing something I set out to accomplish.

3. Making the bed each day.

4. Getting personal messages via mail, e-mail, or my blog.

5. Having a clean house.

One thing I realized while writing about these things is that I can actually control whether these things happen for me or not! So often I am unhappy, stressed, or in general don't feel good, and it is in these times that I reach for food most often. But I can do things to ensure that I have "feel good" moments throughout the day! Unfortunately, I tend to procrastinate to the point that I am stressed out and can hardly keep my head above water. I am seeing that if I take the time to do the work of making my bed, cleaning up, and crossing items off my to do list, I will feel better and be more available to sit down and enjoy my children or leave personal messages for people, which inevitably causes them to leave one for me! Wow, I'm not powerless over how I feel each day. I can make choices to improve how I feel. Keeping this in mind should help me not need to turn to food to feel better!

For more Fitness Friday posts, go to Brenda's blog The Family Revised.

Because I'm Afraid We're Getting Boring

And to distract myself from the fact that I'm STILL pregnant...

Heidi posted this and I thought it was amusing.

I have...

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower (although it wasn't very big)
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain.
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo (in an Antshillvania play and I messed up)
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29 Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33 Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41 Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance (three times)
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business (and just as quickly killed it)
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60 Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason (because my husband ROCKS!)
64. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma (I'm not allowed to because I don't stinkin' weigh enough)
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades (Funny, I haven't, but my MY KIDS (7,5) have)
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79 Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life (my cousin was choking on a piece of hard candy)
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby (Any day now I'll have my 5th if she'll just cooperate and GET OUT!!!)
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit (but it was a mass litigation type thing that I didn't know about until I got some letter in the mail telling me I could collect my $2.36 any time)
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Also, have you seen this? It's pretty darn cool!!

It's Kind Of Disgusting, Really

Our vacuum cleaner broke. It served us well considering we bought it right after we were married over 11 years ago. It wasn't totally broke, really, but the part that was broken gave us a good reason to go out and get a new vacuum. And who doesn't love spending money??

Anyway, we got one of those with a clear canisters that you can empty each time you vacuum that has a special filter especially for people with allergies who live in houses with pets. Since I have one son with severe allergies and one with asthma, this seemed like a good idea. And I'm sure it is a good idea, but it has one unfortunate side effect. This vacuum makes me feel like a horrible housekeeper!! Seriously, where does all that dust, dirt, and cat hair come from? And how long has it been since I vacuumed again? Ugh...

A Bit Behind...

The beautiful (if not dangerous) ice storm yesterday made it feel Christmasy again around here. (We lost a tree limb but not the power.) It helps that I still have all our Christmas decorations up...but that's another story entirely! It reminded me that I hadn't posted anything about our Christmas. I know it is way past due, but I am going to offer up a few excuses here:

• we left Christmas day for Colorado and didn't get back until Jan. 2
• I just finished the laundry from being gone - I couldn't blog before laundry, could I? (Never mind the other times I've done just this...)
• I have a new (very cool) laptop, and hadn't figured out the different photo software on it to edit my pictures until last night
• Oh, yeah - I have a newborn (how long is this one valid?? I think I might be pushing it at this point...)

::Clears throat:: Now that we have established that it is perfectly reasonable for me to just now be blogging about Christmas, lets get started!! This Christmas was especially fun for us because our boys are older and really get it. They get the spiritual significance and look forward to the Bible stories as well as the gifts. They were also able to understand the joy of giving, not just getting. However, this realization cost us a bit more dough since they had to give Andrew a gift (each of them) and we had to give Andrew a gift, too! They are also way more animated when opening their gifts since they actually made lists and looked forward to seeing what they would get and analyzed each gift under the tree 30,000 times trying to decide exactly what it could be!

Since we were leaving Christmas day on our trip, we opened gifts on the 23rd, then they boys got their Christmas pj's on the 24th like always, and we opened stockings and had a fun breakfast on the 25th. It was like Christmas went on and on for them!

Here's the boys in their Christmas pj's on Christmas morning. Aren't they just adorable??

On Christmas morning we always have Lil' Smokies sausages and what goes with them varies. This year, I looked for a copy cat recipe for Cinnabon cinnamon rolls. I found this one. Mmmmm, they were really, really good. I highly recommend making them. The dough turned out perfect being done in the bread machine, too. I made mine the night before and left them in the fridge overnight. I let them sit out on the counter for a couple hours before baking them, and the rose just fine.

Jerry thoroughly spoiled me this year (considering I got a new laptop already...) and made it a red kitchen Christmas. I had put new pot holders, spatulas, and kitchen towels on a list for him (all in red) and he took the theme and ran with it. Check out the red kitchen loot:

That's right, he got me a new Kitchen Aid mixer!! (And somehow the red Kitchen Aid spatula and serving set got left out of the picture...) The motor in my other one burned out exactly 4 months after the warranty on it ran out and I have been mixing things with a hand held mixer for about a year now (I know - horror of all horrors!). I had mentioned wanting a new one in red and jokingly put it on a list knowing it was more than we were spending (or so I thought) and lo and behold! There it was on Christmas morning. I broke it in to make a cake earlier this week and smiled so big my face almost split in two!

The Final Push

Just think everyone out there: one more week or less and you'll finally be able to stop hearing these two Jos talk about being pregnant. You'd think that's all we ever did.

Anyway, my visit with the doc today revealed 2cm dilated and has produced many, many strong contractions. Hopefully soon Anna will be here. They will schedule a C/S for Thursday next if I don't go into labor naturally before then. The contractions I've been having have moved lower on my uterus and are quite painful. They come about every 5 to 10 minutes. That's pretty good. We'll see if they keep it up. Usually my water breaks and then labor stalls. I don't mean it gets slower, I mean it comes to a dead halt. They give me a wee bit of Pitocin and in 45 minutes baby is here. It's amazing.

Okay, wait...contraction.

Whew, that was a REALLY good one. I hope it was productive.

Anyway, I think I am prepared to post some pictures now. We had our first day back to school today and I am so excited about our shelves and how totally useful our neat little school room is. It's a complete answer to prayer. I'll just never get over how blessed I am. You'd think I'd be a more dutiful daughter.

Now, surely you all remember this post that showed off all the glorious vomit colors of this house we bought. We decided that before we moved all of my parents' stuff in we should have the house painted. We managed to find a guy in need of work enough to take the job for $2250. This was for all the rooms in the house except the laundry room and bathrooms and no closets or doors, but all the trim. We were so happy with his work and the fact that he came later after the job was done to put a third coat on the yellow and pink and do a lot of touch up work that we paid him an extra $500. The other two bids we had on the job were for $4900 and $8000.

Here's some pictures of the colors we picked.

This is the sewing room. It's pretty far down on the priority list as far as getting it in working order so it's not put back together yet. But both Mom and I really dig the happy yellow.

The girls' pink room. Not too bad a pink, I think.

This will be Anna's room and also the guest room.

You can see the two colors of tan we picked out for everywhere else in the house. All the main living areas anyway. The kitchen and two master bedrooms are the blue you see below. Hmm, I have a pretty darned high-speed camera; maybe I should take some better shots of this color.

And then there's the blue. Here's Lily showing it off. This is the upstairs master (mine). Del was remodeling and painting the closet at the time so there was a lot of chaos in the room. Hmm, once again...high-speed camera...need better pictures.

Then we finished putting the school room together basically. There's still a few things that need to be addressed but for the most part, it's done and I really like it!!!

So that's my news. Please pray for Anna to be born sometime before next Thursday. I'd appreciate it.